


Captain Dragneel's Impromptu Favour

by leetokeen



Series: The Bold Adventures of Dread Pirate Natsu Dragneel [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Alvarez Teikoku Hen | Alvarez Empire Arc (Fairy Tail), Gen, Humor, Space Pirates, friggin spriggan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 22:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17150606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leetokeen/pseuds/leetokeen
Summary: Fleet Commander Scarlet and Captain Gray Fullbuster attend the first day of the Ishgar-Alvarez Peace Summit, but a familiar foe returns with unknown intent.





	Captain Dragneel's Impromptu Favour

**Author's Note:**

  * For [splendidlyimperfect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/splendidlyimperfect/gifts).



The twin suns of planet Alvarez seared the capital, Vistarion, on their journey across the sky. Captain Fullbuster and Fleet Commander Scarlet looked out from their balcony upon the sprawling city, air hazy in the sweltering heat.

“Jeez! How does anyone live on this rock?” Gray groaned, exhausted.

“You’re one to talk. At least now you have a reason to walk around in your underwear.”

Gray looked down. “Gah! How does this always happen?” He was about to flail his arms, but then realized he was too hot to really make a scene out of it.

Erza smirked. “Pervert,” she said, making it sound as lighthearted as she could. “At least you don’t have underboob sweat.” _Or a sore back from carrying these things around all day,_ she thought to herself as she shifted her weight.

Erza’s gauntlets gleamed brightly in the midday sunshine, leather straps fluttering in the light breeze. Although the heat eventually forced her to remove her plate chestpiece, she left the gauntlets on as a precaution. They were in hostile territory, after all.

The thought reminded her of the guild fleet and her cherished ship—the _Zero Hour_ —in orbit around Alvarez. She looked up, squinting past the pair of Spriggan suns. Though the fleet was too far up to see with her single naked eye, knowing it was there reassured her somehow.

The sound of flip-flopping sandals brought her attention back down from space, and she turned slightly, looking expectantly toward the doorway.

Jellal pushed the billowing curtain aside and strode toward them, strawberry daiquiris in hand, and presented one each to Erza and Gray. Turning to Erza, he gave her a knowing look. “You look distressed, my dear. Let me help you with that.”

He moved into position behind Erza and gently cupped her breasts, lifting them from below to ease the pressure off her shoulders and back. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Erza moaned as she leaned back into Jellal’s embrace. The naked relief in her voice startled Gray, who turned from his daiquiri to take in the scene. “Whoa! Take it to your sleeping quarters, guys.”

Erza kept her eyes closed, head tilted back and arms limp at her side. “Excuse you, Captain. I’ll have you know this is as far from erotic as we get; it’s therapeutic, in fact.” The smile on her lips was one of pure bliss and relaxation.

Gray cocked his head to the side, hands on his hips. “Therapeutic, you say? Do you mean for you or Jellal?” His counterpart’s face turned a predictable shade of deep, deep red. “If grabbing boobs is ‘far from erotic’, then you must be beasts in the sack. I guess that explains all the noise I’ve been hearing the last few nights.”

Erza sensed Jellal’s embarrassment and her smile faded. Reluctantly, she moved forward and extirpated herself from his grasp, the omnipresent tension returning to her neck and back. “Damn it, Gray. You have no idea what kind of burden these are to carry around all day.” Turning to Jellal, she put a hand up to stroke his cheek. “Thanks – I needed that.”

Gray’s face darkened as he looked down, thoughts turning inward. “Carrying a burden around is something I happen to know a lot about, actually.” He paused for effect then turned his eyes to the sky, wishing for a sudden flash of lightning to punctuate his blackening mood. Instead, he found himself squinting into the pleasant brightness of the Alvarezian suns. He sighed, then made a show of trudging inside, seeking a dramatic and suspenseful exit from the afternoon’s banter. Erza leaned back onto the balcony and loudly sipped her daiquiri, thoughts wrapped in pink strawberry heaven, while Jellal looked pensively out onto the city’s multicoloured rooftops.

 

* * *

 

The Ishgar-Alvarez Peace Summit was hastily arranged, but everyone from the Ishgarian delegation was keenly aware of its importance. It was common knowledge that Alvarezian engineering had long ago eclipsed that of their closest galactic neighbours, and even with the planet-cracking Etherion Cannon, Ishgar was no match for Alvarez ship-to-ship. One formation of dreadnoughts in particular, known as the Shields of Spriggan, was rumoured to possess enough speed and armament to glass Crocus and be home before second breakfast. If Alvarez sought a pre-emptive peace, Ishgar was in no position to decline.

“Do you not find it strange to be invited here for a peace conference when they could wipe us off the star charts?” This was no longer strawberry-daiquiri-sipping Erza speaking; it was Captain Scarlet, feared commander of the Fairy Tail flagship _Zero Hour_ and bane of dark guilds and pirates alike. Stone-faced and dead serious, Erza was addressing Mavis and the other Ishgarian captains ahead of the summit’s first official meeting.

“Erza, your analysis of the situation is a bit hasty,” the Fairy Tactician replied airily. “Surely there is something Alvarez hopes to gain from this summit.”

“Yeah… our deaths,” added Gray. “With Ishgar’s top captains disposed of, Alvarez’s fleet wouldn’t even chip their paint on the way to Crocus.”

The assembled captains murmured at the remark, but Gray couldn’t tell if it was acquiescence or disagreement. Rising above the din, he heard a tell-tale voice cry out something about “foul parfum,” and he caught the series of carefully choreographed poses that followed. He rolled his eyes.

Mavis huffed. “Come now. They invited us here with the fleet at our backs, and that came as a big risk for them. Before they have a chance to blink, the Etherion could turn Alvarez into an asteroid field.” Smiling disarmingly, Mavis clasped her hands. “And besides, the Chief of Staff, Yajeel, has been so kind. He and Makarov spend their afternoons playing Regenca, the local pastime. Let’s see what they propose before we become too pessimistic.”

Although Mavis wasn’t expecting much of a reaction as she moved to sit back down, she was admittedly surprised by the sonic boom that came crashing through the doorway. If there was one thing she didn’t like, it was being surprised. The powerful shockwave that then pressed everyone to the floor made the feeling several magnitudes worse.

“What in the nine hells?” The Alvarez presidential hall shook to its foundation, brown dust and bits of rubble cascading down from the ceiling. As the assembled captains struggled to stand, cries of shock and surprise came from every corner of the strategy room.

“Are we under attack?”

“To arms!”

“Is anyone hurt?”

In an unbroken series of movements, Erza pushed herself up, locked eyes with Mavis, nodded, then turned to Gray and pointed her chin toward the door. The two captains rushed down the opulent palace halls and out into the courtyard, lacrima blasters at the ready. Expecting to be hit by a wave of heat as they cleared the double doors, they were instead surprised to encounter a sudden penumbra extended over the entire presidential compound.

It wasn’t hard to find the shadow’s source: the Alvarezian twin suns were blocked by a massive ship that had clearly just warped in, wisps of steam still rising from its hull. _Hence the shockwave,_ Erza thought. She and Gray stared at this mysterious interloper in stunned silence. Intergalactic protocol stipulated a minimum orbital height of 200 km for visiting ships, but it looked like this particular vessel had warped in a mere 50 metres above ground-level.

As emergency klaxons started to blare from across the courtyard, Erza visually scanned the ship. _Let’s see… 500ish metres long, dorsal fins, weathered red and orange paint, neck-mounted triangular command deck, over 100 pairs of ventral plasma cannons…_ The realization struck her at the same time as Gray: it was the _Igneel_. The Dread Pirate Natsu Dragneel had chosen this moment, the most crucial in Ishgar’s long history, to descend upon Alvarez.

Gray was the first to recover his voice. “There better be a catastrophic emergency on that ship or he’s going to get blown out of the sky. I can’t believe he hasn’t already been vaporized by the palace’s point defense cannons.”

“Maybe they know something we don’t,” Erza shrugged. After her sudden meeting with Natsu after the Battle of Tartaros[1], Erza couldn’t find any room in her heart for sympathy. _All that sushi…_ The thought of the pirate’s brazen theft spoiling the alliance’s victory feast still caused her blood to boil.

A hiss from above drew their gaze upwards, and Erza’s squinting was just barely enough to see the contours of an exterior hatch as it slid open. Natsu’s familiar silhouette soon popped out, chequered scarf fluttering behind him. He began his leisurely descent toward the surface, anti-gravity lacrima in hand, and as he got closer, Erza noted with displeasure the massive and completely oblivious grin plastered on his face. Beside him floated his first mate and best friend, Happy.

“Heeeeey, my old buddies! How’s it going, guys?” Natsu’s permanent good humour only worsened Erza’s mood. The emergency klaxons continued their panicked bleating, making it somewhat harder to communicate within the confines of the courtyard.

“You’re lucky you’re still alive, Dragneel,” Erza shouted over the cacophony. “If one of our ships pulled a stunt like that, I’m sure it would have been shot out of the sky point five seconds after emerging from subspace. Not only that, but do you know what kind of pressure a ship coming out of subspace generates? If you had come out anywhere else, you could have flattened a city block.”

“Well duh! That’s why I stopped in the courtyard! I figured I could save time by just parking by the front door.”

Gray’s jaw hit the floor. “Parking by the…? Baka, you moron! We’re here to save Ishgar from getting wiped off the galactic map and you choose this moment to fly in here like a maniac? They’ll probably think you’re with us!”

“I _am_ with you,” Natsu shouted in reply. “The callout for the summit went to the highest ranked Ishgarian captains, and when I heard about it, I knew I had to come. I’m a captain and I’m from Ishgar, so it makes sense! Say, do you guys know if there’s a buffet table around here somewhere? I’m starving!” Natsu theatrically rubbed his belly in a sweeping spiral motion.

Happy, who had fluttered down in silence, lit up at the mention of food. “Aye sirrrr! Maybe they have a fresh fish section in their buffet? Let’s go, Natsu!”

Erza busily rubbed the bridge of her nose. Just as she prepared for the mother of all headaches, the klaxons finally stopped. Seconds later, her senses picked up the distinctive static buzz of a subspace tunnel forming nearby. With imposing finality, several new ships _vrourpped_ into existence in a perfect dodecahedron formation around the _Igneel_. As Natsu and Gray scanned the sky in earnest, Erza quickly counted 12 additional ships, each one distinctively marked by the black imperial crest of Alvarez. _Could it be…?_

Natsu was the first to comment. “Ohhh, would ya look at that? It’s the Friggin 12, or whatever! I knew I’d get a great welcome from the locals.” His grin was wide enough to exceed the bounds of his face.

Both Gray and Erza started to instinctively back away. “Say goodbye to the _Igneel_ ,” Gray said, “because I have a feeling those ships mean business.” He tried to hide the panic in his voice but wasn’t sure if he succeeded.

“Hey, I’m sure it’s no big deal!” Natsu flicked his chin toward the palace doors. “Check out that guy coming out to greet us. Is that the parking attendant or something? I don’t have any cash, so I hope he accepts payment by fish!”

Happy’s face furled into a shocked expression, and his voice shot out in a high-pitched whine. “You can’t do that! That’s _my_ fish, Natsu!” Natsu flashed Happy a quick wink, and Erza was pretty sure she was the only one who noticed.

As the two guildship captains turned to face the incoming parking attendant, they immediately realized that it was no mere palace employee. Flanked by at least 50 armed palace guards and clad in jet black robes, Natsu’s parking attendant was in fact the Alvarez Emperor himself. Erza quickly bowed, hoping to correctly strike the angle she had practiced between respect and deference. Gray followed suit, while Natsu cocked his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest. His grin slowly faded as the Emperor took each additional step forward.

“Captain Dragneel,” he intoned. “Your reputation precedes you, even here on Alvarez. Welcome. My name is Emperor Spriggan, but you may call me Zeref.”

“The pleasure’s all mine, buddy! Nice place you got here!”

Erza nearly fainted. To be so… _casual_ with the most powerful man in the galaxy was either supreme overconfidence or utter stupidity. She couldn’t do anything but remain frozen in place, hoping against all odds that she wasn’t immediately gunned down as an accessory to Natsu’s Ishgarian frivolity. Gray looked similarly petrified, eyes tightly fixated on a lump of dirt at his feet.

Zeref, for his part, merely cocked an eyebrow. The total lack of protocol seemed fitting, somehow. After spending years of his long life in subservience to traditions and appearances, he welcomed a change of pace in the imperial court.

Natsu, seizing the cues from Zeref’s body language, clapped him on the shoulder. “Listen, I’ve got a favour to ask of you, Mister Friggin.”

Zeref looked down at the hand firmly gripping his shoulder. “That’s Emperor Sprigg--"

Before he could finish the correction, he felt the tell-tale buzz of a nearby subspace tunnel. Faster than lightning, a man materialized in front of him, and Zeref’s eyes went wide. Wearing long dark pants and a bright red tunic, the man’s facial scars denoted him as either battle-hardened or clumsy. He had a cheerful expression on his face, and his hair was a tousled mess.

“Hi guys! Bye guys.” Putting one hand on Natsu and the other on Happy, the man disappeared into thin air with Natsu, Happy and the Emperor in tow.

 

* * *

 

Although it felt like an eternity to the two remaining Ishgarian captains, it only took them a few seconds following the sudden disappearance to turn their shocked faces towards the column of palace guards. The guards, not surprisingly, we’re equally shocked by the way their relatively relaxed afternoon had just been upended. Leveling their plasma lances at Erza and Gray with a _clack_ of clockwork synchronicity, the fanciest-dressed guard addressed them as only a guard captain would: “Return the Emperor immediately, or die! You have five seconds.” As if to mark the seriousness of the threat, the lacrima in each lance began to hum with deadly potential.

Erza didn’t know a damn thing about what was going on, but she did know one thing with utter certainty: Lady Death had finally come for her. She glanced at Gray, who had clearly come to the same conclusion, and drew her pistol. If she was going to die today, it wouldn’t be without a fi--

 _Bzzzzt._ “Hi again. Sorry, he said you would all be holding hands!” In a fraction of a second, before Erza could even turn to face the speaker, she felt a hand yank her gauntlet, her stomach shoot up into her skull, the sound of plasma fire tearing through the air, then the sudden peace of instant darkness. _Bzzzzt_.

 

* * *

 

When Erza reopened her eyes, it took her a few moments to realize where she was. The teleporting man stood between her and a bewildered Gray. Just beyond the newly arrived trio was Zeref, looking bemused, and Natsu, hands behind his head and with an even wider grin than before. He was seated with legs crossed at some kind of command console, and the viewscreen looming over him depicted the rooftops of Vistarion from the same approximate height as their suite’s balcony. Complementing the scene were dishes strewn around, masses of fish bones, and enough dirty laundry to fill five washing machines. Despite the seriousness of the situation she now found herself in, Erza’s thoughts couldn’t help but be consumed by the mess. _Is this seriously the_ Igneel _’s_ _bridge? What a bunch of slobs!_

Coming back to reality, she tuned in to the conversation being held between Natsu and Zeref. Artificial laughter could be heard from both men as they bantered back and forth.

“You truly are a bold one, Captain Dragneel. Your reputation is well-earned. Now, kindly return me to the surface before I have the Shields of Spriggan return your ship to its component molecules. I saw them all in formation before coming out of the palace.”

“Oh, you mean the Friggin 12? Yeah, let’s take a look at them – I’d hate to die over a simple misunderstanding!” Natsu spun in his chair and started plugging commands into the console. The viewscreen began to shift.

Zeref exhaled sharply. “Because kidnapping the Emperor is a ‘misunderstanding,’ of course.”

“Of course!”

It was Gray’s turn to chime in. “You must be bluffing. If your cronies blast this ship to pieces, you’ll die too.”

Zeref turned to Gray and eyed him with sinister casualness. “If death came to me so simply, I would have tossed myself out of an airlock three centuries ago.” Gray returned his gaze levelly, though internally he was perplexed as all hell.

After a few moments of man-staring, Zeref turned back to the viewscreen. By now, it was showing a panoramic view from different cameras across the _Igneel_ ’s hull, and the 12 distinct ships from Alvarez’s deadliest squadron were no more than 20 metres away. If they opened fire at this range, death would be instantaneous. Zeref laughed at the screen.

“You see? Even a single one of those ships has you outgunned and outclassed. Just surrender, you idiot. You pushed yourself too hard if you thought I’d be an easy prize.”

Natsu continued taking in the viewscreen while he thoughtfully stroked his chin. “Yeah, about that.” He turned to the console and tapped in a few quick commands, and the ships _vrourpped_ out of existence as quickly as they had _vrourpped_ in.

Swiveling back around to face Zeref, Natsu’s grin was a parsec wide. “Pretty cool, hey? I got them from a great software writer; I’ll give you their number if you want.” Before the stunned Emperor could respond, Natsu cranked the throttle and the ship slipped into subspace, probably leaving a crater and a lot of dead guards behind in the palace courtyard.

 

* * *

 

Mavis didn’t like surprises, so her mood turned appropriately sour when about 100 royal guards showed up to take her and the other Ishgarian captains into custody. As the Fairy Tactician, she always knew that an Alvarezian trap was within the realm of possibility, but when she heard about the reason for their imprisonment— _he what?!_ —she was dumbstruck. Apparently, the Dread Pirate Natsu Dragneel abducted the Emperor, and Erza and Gray were his accomplices in this rogue action. They were all facing a firing squad if the Emperor wasn’t returned in short order, so Mavis’s mind quickly put itself to the task of calculating various means of escape. Despite dedicating all her considerable brain power to this task, she was able to spare the occasional vitriolic thought for Captain Natsu— _that goddamn asshole_ , in her mind’s vernacular—and the fate of Erza and Gray.

 _Come back soon, my children_. _Our fate may rest with you_.

 

[1] See _Captain Dragneel’s Birthday Surprise_


End file.
